Can't get no….respectability

Hey, hey, hey! Those with central pain cannot BUY respectability. We simply are not taken seriously as patients, but regarded rather as mental weaklings, whiners, malingerers, and exaggerators. We can get a little credibility for our paralysis, or portion thereof, but since we don’t emphasize that, but emphasize our pain instead, we truly seem weird to clinicians. But, it’s all about gene expression. Lay that on your doctor. He might sit up and take notice.


The only thing that will interrupt doctor’s indifference is the knowledge of GENE EXPRESSION. Sooner or later, when people begin to think in terms of such things, they will have a jaw dropping experience as they take a glance at the levels of our mRNA, and realize we are dripping with pain producing acids in our nerve synapses, saturated at every point with powerful pain inducing chemicals. We can only say, where were you when we needed you*, when we were ourselves confused and there was no one to believe. The shame will be buried in history and we will live and die without so much as an “I am truly sorry I have nothing to offer you for the burning.”

We rouse ourselves to repeat the claim of pain, realizing we may not see the cure, but that humans in the future will benefit from the fact we faced the medical profession back and beat them at their own game, rational science. We are nature’s Auschwitz, nature’s experiment with torture, but the scorners and Job’s comforters will all deny they were ever any part of the neglect, the indifference, or the punishment. Condescending psychologists will not admit speaking the words, and will not apologize for having said our mental aberrations led to the pain, rather than the other way around. That is the way it goes when things are too disgraceful. They must be denied, rather than corrected. Those who could only recommend the pathetically unhelpful placebo effect will keep their silence.

When gene expression is common knowlege, everyone will shake their heads and be religiously mournful and politically correct about our plight. For now, however, “suffer naked in the dark”. CP is not God’s will and we do NOT have something to learn. This seems blasphemy to some, and it may be. More likely, however, is that our suffering is meaningless, a part of the mortal scheme, which lacks knowledge on some points and requires faith.

After all, the Christian religion at least, certainly does not believe the suffering of Jesus was meaningless, but it does acknowledge that the meaning was obscured to Him. If not obscured in some fashion, which is to say meaningless, why the argument with God over its necessity? If He was truly to descend below all things, to suffer in innocence all that guilty mortals suffer, in order to succor them, then why not some element, at least, of meaningless pain, so that the atonement was infinite.

This is just speculation, possibly absurd or even wicked, but central pain certainly seems meaningless, and we sometimes seek help from a higher source, so one wonders if meaninglessness was an essential feature of some part of the sacrifice, the pain at least. If this attempt to make sense of it, containing the presumption that any mortal might grasp to any degree something about the atonement, is wrong, then we apologize; and ask His forgiveness, but we think it adds to the measure of sacrifice and submission, not detracts. The same conclusion might be reached in other religious philosophies. No religion has said anything about meaningless suffering, so we cannot be accused of making this speculation on the part of any particular religion. Maybe it is outside religion, but it is not outside our reflection. It is the idea, not the denomination or religious persuasion which is meant to be addressed.

Pain makes us all look to our own God, by whatever name; or, alternatively for the unbeliever, wish there were One. In each there is a plea, possibly a momentary accusation, but always a terrifying sense of meaninglessness. If it were from sin, we could repent, but it is not. Central Pain is an illness. Thank you for not trying to take it further than that, since you do not know what you are talking about. Severe Central Pain is always worse than what you wish to make analogy to. Things can always get worse. How? Only if we see more suffering in our loved ones. For us, we linger in a world where pain is the question, and there IS no answer.

We would never withhold antibiotics in an infection in order that some higher awareness be reached. This would not even be considered, nor would withholding available benefit be considered for any other illness. Infection therefore must be simply bad. It is not pregnant with meaning, and can legitimately be considered one of the things which delights the Almighty if we alleviate it. The good is in the remediation, not the infliction. We must therefore be forgiven for seeing Central Pain in the same light, even if we are wrong.

Some playwright, somewhere, will write about our “crucible”, if they have not buried the evidence too deeply.T he people of that future generation of enlightenment will lament the inexcusable indifference of people in times distant, even as they themselves, in their turn, fail to sense and reach out to some rejected portion of the human family. There is plenty of suffering to end, it would appear. It is very hard to handle change at the grocery store, but nearly always I am frowned upon if I do not donate to some cause which seems almost blessed compared to central pain. If they will attempt to understand why I cannot wear proper clothing, I will donate to their cause. The high school children planning on an invigoration choir tour of France will have to wait, or prevail on their parents’ largesse. We hope to find a cure for CP sometime before “the last cockroach suffers the pangs of unrequited love”. We are not the last in merit, even if we are the last in consciousness of those who know nothing about genetic expression. Their lack of knowledge does not change anything. Certainly, it does not diminish the pain. It is brave to ask for help, and we are almost too ill to do it. Unless we think of future generations, we will not have the courage to ask, for the pain is invisible and indescribable.

We were chosen to demonstrate just how brutal nature can be and we will die trying to express it, even if there is no vocabulary to make others understand. Most every religion on earth acknowledges pain as the greatest test, but not in us, for we cannot find a verbal descriptor. Eventually, our gene expression will express it for us.

Central Pain is all about genetic expression. Genes make us who we are. The commandments were designed around who we are, taking it seriously, rather than ignoring human nature. Pain does things to people, perhaps more than anything else. We are therefore different. Unfortunately, this most simple of principles has not made it into the college biology curriculum, let alone to the high school level. Consequently, people in various areas continue to be amazed that the central nervous system has anything to do with anything. The first big embarrassment was when the U.S. Army started disciplining battlefield medics for